Relationship counselling

Sometimes people don’t realise there is a problem until it seems as though it appears too late. Sometimes there is such a lack of communication that even though one of the people in the relationship keeps saying there is a problem, the other person doesn’t hear them. It isn’t until something drastic happens, such as one person says they want to leave, that the other person suddenly is put in a position where they have to take notice of what is happening. It is easy to take the relationship for granted.

If the couple is willing to work on the situation which has developed and look at their beliefs and habits together, many times it is possible to change to a much more evolved and loving relationship. Sometimes only one partner wants to have help, and this can also be beneficial.

Jealousy and anger are forms of fear. The partner suffering from these emotions is usually feeling inadequate. Judgement and criticism also are very damaging emotions. Perfectionism can mask fear as well. These negative emotions can be changed to more supportive emotions.

There can be times when it is not possible to “fix” the relationship as each partner has grown in different directions. The good that comes out of it is that each partner can change how they relate in a relationship and can move on to find another partner who “fits” the life style and attitudes that have developed. It can be that fear prevents a person from letting go. By addressing these fears and installing new programming, it is then possible to release the situation.

One client was a “workaholic” and didn’t realise that his family had developed a life-style that didn’t involve him. When he sold the business and thought he would spend more time with the family, he was devastated to find that they didn’t want to include him in their lives anymore. Through counselling and therapy, he was able to understand the situation and change his way of thinking and acting. As a result, he was able to adjust to the situation and create a new life with a new partner.

Another client worked with his wife. The wife fell in love with another man and divorced him. He gave up his business as he couldn’t function without her. He felt completely “stuck” for years. When he had counselling and therapy, he understood the situation and was able to recover. He was then able to create another business and move on in life.

Some people find they keep attracting the same personality types in their relationships and repeating the same negative situations. By gaining understanding through counselling, and then following up with therapy, they are able to release the programs that have created attraction to the wrong type of person for them. If they recognise their negative beliefs about themselves, through understanding and therapy, they are able to move towards situations and people that will enhance love, happiness and fulfilment.